Communication is Key

April 11, 2011 — 1 Comment

Communication is Key - Verbal and Non Verbal CommunicationSomething I’ve echoed for years is “Problems stem from the lack-of or poor communication.”

Sometimes overwhelming emotions or uncertainties can throw us off track when searching for solutions, either large or small. Regardless, they need to be attended to and handled with thorough thought and mature reasoning.

How do you find a medium that works for you; between verbal and non verbal communication?

A recent speech given by Michael Hyatt at the Liberty University touched on some great elements on how we can communicate more effectively; by dealing with offenses. I think we often forget that offenses are a choice we make and until we understand that, we will continue to inhibit out ability to communicate effectively. And by allowing ourselves to accept the inevitable, we grow as people, for our families, for our friends, and for our communities.

Spoken Words: Know when to hold them, and know when to fold them.

God has given us two ears and only one mouth for a reason. By listening to others, we open ourselves to have a better understand them. Being able to set aside our own need to be heard, and listening to others, allows us help increase the likelihood to better understand them. Who they are, what their interests are, what the dreams and goals are, and most important–what they have in common with us.

We express ourselves verbally to receive feedback, to be understood and heard. Even those who don’t understand exactly what they are saying often learn to separate the emotion from intellect, thus allowing for effective communication. When it comes to non verbal communication, adapting or “blending” our body language opens up an whole new level of effectiveness. This supports most communication studies that state body language being the dominating factor to human interaction. Putting our tone of voice in second place and the actual words we say in third. Again, this supports my delay of incorporating written word into my personal life.

Based on your experience; when finding yourself in a confrontational situation, how do the roles of listening, verbal and non verbal communication, as well as passively speaking play? What are the typical outcomes?

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I'm just a tech guy who loves finally met the love of his life -- with hopes that this blog will help me become a better man, through writing, so I may effectively communicate with my wife... and raise a family of our own.
  • Steven Memel

    Thanks for the wonderful post Geoff!

    And excellent question at the end. I’ll be curious to see , what I imagine will be some very interesting responses.

    For me the answer depends on whether I’m the confront-er or the confront-ee. And also whether the confrontation one that is necessary or one that is emotionally driven by one or the other party.

    By a necessary confrontation I am referring to a situation such as when my father was in the hospital and was in incredible distress and discomfort and his relief was being delayed by staff that was much more focused on “the rules” than the human being suffering in front of them. In a case like that words alone are not especially effective. Strong and directive language must be accompanied by a change in not just body and tone of voice, but by a literal shift in energy. It is my experience that this shift in energy fuels the change in body and tone.

    On the other hand, when I’m dealing with someone who has exited rational space and entered emotional trance, by which I mean they are no longer in their right mind, it’s an entirely different matter. A person in this reactive condition must be met with a similar shift in energy…¬†which again fuels or fills or generates a new body state and tonal impression. Usually one of understanding their point of view, non-threat and a basic suspension of any personal agenda save not to fan the flames of their whack-out!

    This is a great and vast topic and what I’ve written above addresses only a couple of the infinite possible scenarios. I’m going to leave some room for others to play!