Timing is something that none of us can seem to get quite right with relationships. We meet the person of our dreams the month before they leave to go study abroad. We form an incredibly close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken. One relationship ends because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because they’re getting serious too soon.“It would be perfect,” We moan to our friends, “If only this were five years from now/eight years sooner/some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves.” Timing seems to be the invariable third party in all of our relationships. And yet we never stop to consider why we let timing play such a drastic role in our lives.
Timing is a bitch, yes. But it’s only a bitch if we let it be. Here’s a simple truth that I think we all need to face up to: the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people.
You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backward. The right people don’t make you hmm and haw about whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. You know that any adventure you had originally planned out for your future isn’t going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have by their side. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.
When you are with the right person, time Read more
I hope the following passive promotion below gives you insight into my drive, passion, and desire to find the next adventure. The world is full of haven’t stance and maybe I’m a person that can help you or maybe you are a person that can help me. Let’s see what we can do together for the world.
I’m a guy who once spent 5 years as a recording industry executive (only because of sales under my watch for our market that had increased by a mere %10,300+ percent across 6 months and sustained a 93% retention rate for the 4 years in a market established across 20 years), from the school of Hard Knocks.
I’m a guy who somehow followed a technical ‘passion’ and opened a small, multi-office IT consulting firm (which cost me less than $100 to start) on a tropical island that focused on servicing healthcare, legal, and financial verticals and burned it down to the ground because I grew too big, too fast.
If any of the above is of any interest to you, I might be a guy you’d like to connect with.
With that said, my current professional pivot consists of the following: 9AM-5PM Monday thru Friday, 75% of my eggs are in a Technology Read more
1.the phonetic pronunciation of the assigned acronym for the word: unicorn“can you believe that yousea actually exists?”
used to refer to the person being addressed as a reminder how one of a kind they are.
used in exclamations to address one or more amazing qualities.“did you ever dream of discovering a real life yousea?”
2.a word created during the first Mercury in Retrograde of 2018, with April 15th, 2018 being the official go-live date.“yousea, this is for you. may history continue to write our story. i love you.”Origin:Old English ēow, accusative, and dative of gē (see uc1); related to Dutch u and German euch . During the 21tst century yousea began to replace unicorn1, uc1, and yousee; by the 22nd century, the hope to see it fully adopted is intact.
For years I believed “business” and “personal” were always separate. It wasn’t until realized that how I was handling my relationships with clients was the exact opposite. More often than not, I found myself wholeheartedly focused and concerned about my customer’s and client’s objectives as my own. Here are 5 reasons why business is always personal.
- We are human beings. We are both driven by emotion and logic. Passion, once found and combined with our purpose, becomes the driving force for why we wake up in the morning. Along the way we will connect logical points with our decisions, thus giving us the foundation we require to build relationships.
- Engagement is connection. When we engage with each other, we establish a connection. Actively listening to our clients will gain far more distance than any pitch you can come up with. Ever. I’m not sure if it was Zig Ziglar or John Maxwell that said: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Regardless, we need to genuinely let it be known that we care. We can dazzle our clients with endless amounts of facts, lingo, fancy words, marketing sparkle, or whatever — but it’s not until they feel/know we actually care about their business objectives as they are our own, that they trust us.
- Our work is where we gain our identity. Most of us establish our identities by the work we do. Everything we do carries over into who we are as people. The time. The commitment. The passion. The quality. Everything. We spend most of our time working (hopefully enjoying our work along the way). The second most thing we do is sleep. Well, those of us that are human and not constantly hooked up to a coffee drip.
- Relationships are long term. Business to Business (B2B) relationships is simply to branded entities exchanging products and/or services for money. But when it’s all said and done, business is conducted between people, with people, for people. Successful companies focus on establishing rapport with their customers/clients for the long haul. This is usually (or at least should be) done by focusing on customer service.
- The bottom line is not the goal. Although during any transaction, there is a goal and an end result. And although at the end of the day (and fiscal period) the bottom line does represent the overall progress and health of an organization, it does define the baseline of success. If your customer’s best interest is not aligned with your own, you’ve either lost perspective or… simply lost. Period. Take a moment to step back and evaluate where you are with each client’s objectives. In the end, it’s about their bottom line… not yours.
How are you currently handling your relationships with your customers and what are you doing to establish long term rapport to help them meet their goals?
James Archer of Forty Agency released an excellent example of what takes place during a decision making process. He breaks it down into four different categories. They are:
Fast and Emotional decision making often referred to as Choleric. Spontaneous decision makers like it when they see themselves. When they see something as “quick and easy”, they encourage themselves to act upon and move forward.
Fast and Logical decision making often referred to as Melancholic. Competitive decision makers like to be given credentials and proof. Explaining the uniqueness of the product or service (much like Al Ries and Jack Trout refer to in their book “Positioning”) and showing “The Best” and/or “The Only”, is what attracts this group of decision makers.
Slow and Emotional decision making often referred to as Sanguine. Humanistic decision makers like it when a sensory experience is created for them. They seek a story told based on emotion.
Slow and Logical decision making often referred to as Phlegmatic. The methodical decision makes like the process explained to them, so providing them with details and examples allows them to dig in and decide accordingly.
I’d like to thank James Archer of The Forty Agency for doing the research and providing the content used in this post. If you’d like to read up and learn more about the four personality types listed in this post, I recommend reading “Positive Personality Profiles” by my dear friend Robert A. Rohm Ph.D..
What is Brain Trust? When do we recognize an empathic trigger for decision making? Is there a thought process that takes place to make this happen? Or do we go with our gut feeling?
To neurophilosophy pioneer, Patricia Churchland, Brain Trust argues that:
“Morality originates in the biology of the brain. She describes the “neurobiological platform of bonding” that, modified by evolutionary pressures and cultural values, has led to human styles of moral behavior.”
I’m going to touch on a couple of areas that I feel to be key points in which allow us to make decisions. All three comparisons are very similar but each unique to their own.
Intuition vs. Intellect
Intuition is defined as the ability to acquire knowledge without inference or the use of reason. This is a feeling in which we will posses for a very short period of time. A period of time that will either make or break the outcome based on our action(s). Most people I’ve discussed this with tend to refer to their “gut feeling” when we discuss this. A feeling. A heartfelt feeling that comes from the inside. Something personal and real. Most who are aligned with this often refer to a divinely guided source; faith based and often a very spiritual “pointer” or “marker” allowing them to come to a conclusion.
Intellect is often defined as the power of knowing as distinguished from the power to feel and to will: the capacity for knowledge. Now, I can’t say that I completely agree with this, as I’ve always been under the impression that it’s a matter of one’s capacity of knowledge (facts) but not necessarily anything to do with actual wisdom or what’s more commonly referred to as “common sense”. This kind of compares to what I recently posted about my “IF, THEN, and GOTO” philosophy. The use of intellect when making decision
Emotion vs Logic
I think most of us know the bodily feelings we get when emotion kicks in and I’m convinced that it’s the primary force in which guides us. And if not, it needs to be. More often than not, I see people over-think and over-analyze a situation (God know’s I’ve done this… a lot!) and create a very complex (and often busy, inaccurate) decision based on knowledge and noise they’ve gathered over the years. This is often self-sabotaging and damaging to others involved. We’re creatures of the heart and possess a certain amount of morality. I believe this to be something very personal and very natural for all of us and think we need to embrace it more than any other attribute assigned to us.
As far as logic is concerned, I believe this to have one place and one place only: To make a decision based on black and white. If there is something proven in an area that is not influenced by human opinion and has a solid basis, something proven in the area of science, then by all means… use it. Working extensively with technical professionals, and very recently being involved in an intimate relationship with a scientist, I’ve noticed one thing in common. Whether we want to admit or not, we all think we have a profound answer to all situations. Whether it’s something we’ve stored in our own little God-given storage banks or a reference we have access to. We believe we have all the answers and overlook one small detail: Emotion; one thing that has no predictability.
Do you think decision making is a methodological or humanistic approach?
“Trust is a peculiar resource; it is built rather than depleted by use.” ~ Unknown
To build trust, we must use our self-awareness and self-management skills which we’ve acquired over time. Determining the level of trust we need to cultivate depends on the connection which we identify with others. For example, the barista who makes my coffee drink gets a different level of commitment to trust with me that the woman I share my life with. The project manager or resource coordinator of a business account gets a different level of commitment than a field engineer does. Now, none of these holds more or less value, simply some don’t require as much attention as others. It really comes down to focus and priority.
By using social awareness skills, we need to ask others what needs to happen to increase the current level of trust. Being sure to actually listen to the answer. This helps build trust, and overall deepens the relationship.
Here are few key points I’ve found that aid in building trust:
1. Open Communication – The willingness to share ourselves and what is important to us with others often helps establish a common understanding. If done honestly and wholeheartedly, the driving force of positive actions will allow for a foundation to be created, one in which can be used for continued growth.
2. Consistency in Words, Actions, and Behavior – Following through with what we say we are going to do is a huge part of building trust. When we commit to something, regardless of size, it’s still a commitment and must be followed through in order for it to have any value. Whether it be following through with a return phone call, arriving on time for dinner plans, meeting a school/work related deadline, or planning long term family goals. Any of these can “make or break” a friendship/relationship. No matter what size the commitment, no matter what level of importance, what we say to others as to what we’re going to do, it’s up to us to follow through. Otherwise, we can’t be taken seriously. We eventually establish a characteristic with others that we are “true to our word(s)” and display respect and integrity, or allow for ourselves to be seen as one who cannot be trusted, and often at times considered a liar. This is a very difficult place to be in and most often requires a deep look in the mirror. Otherwise, we’ll never be able to repair what we’ve damaged.
3. Avoid Giving Mixed Signals – How we communicate, whether it be via the written word, spoken word– consisting of the tone of voice, and/or body language – determine the level of accuracy which others will perceive us. The signals we send to the people in our relationships are made through proactive conversation and feedback. When we express feelings, we express the truth. More often than not, these expressions are raised to a heightened level through our reactions and body language, regardless of the words we choose. In a world that is saturated by text messaging, which is usually limited to 140 characters or less, our “on the fly” lifestyles that we’ve adapted in the fast paced and fairly disconnected society, it seems that we rarely establish an accurate means of dialogue. I’ve seen some of the world’s best authors and speakers completely misconceived due to a single letter typo, improper punctuation, or quick witted answer.
Something to consider: People will always trust what they see over what they hear. Actions speak louder than words… so focus on following through with everything you commit to. Otherwise, why bother?
The other day I received an e-mail notification that my domain name for this blog is up for renewal. This triggered me to go back and review my blog postings and perform a quick personal inventory. While I was reading over each of my previous posts, it reminded me why I began blogging and what my short and long-term goals were. Being completely honest, I had no idea what I was getting myself into and what the future had in store. Here is a short list of phases and their descriptions I encountered along the way:
- Establish the basics and define the overall navigation around WordPress and find ways to define core values, identity, and overall content.
- Create an identity for the blogosphere to answer the following question: “Who is Geoff Snyder?“
- Learn about theme layouts, plugins, basic SEO, linking, and VERY basic HTML and PHP coding.
- Understand proper social media etiquette and sincere engagement, while also learning how to automate.
- Discover the importance of RSS feeds and their subscribers.
Staying true to the core values and beliefs while collaborating with other like-minded individuals.
Research, read, discuss, read some more, collaborate, and most importantly…stay proactive!
Now that I think I have the swing of things and have been lurking around the blogosphere, I’ve decided to add some personality…make this something personal, find ways to materialize what I’ve gathered into something meaningful, opposed to writing robotic “content friendly” posts simply to appease the search engines’ crawlers.
With that said, I must express my deep, sincere gratitude for the wonderful people I’ve encountered along the way. The level of friendly engagement has made me realize the power of blogging, the world of social media (twitter, facebook, linkedin, etc…), and how social networking has the ability to bring together so many people that we never knew existed. The level of synergy that is available to us is extremely powerful. With the tools of a laptop, an internet connection, the motivation to seek like-minded people, as well as the passion to help others achieve their goals, I am convinced that there is absolutely nothing that cannot be achieved.
Now, I know that the last sentence of the previous paragraph may have some overtones of the cliche our parents told us for all those years: “You can do anything that you put your mind to.” Well, it’s true and the efforts and their results far outweigh the consequences of living in fear or sustaining a lack of confidence. I know, I’ve been there a few times throughout my short life and I am so thankful for those who’ve been there to help pick me back up and support me during those dark times.
I’m going to go ahead and wrap this post up with a couple words: Dream Big.
Call me “Juno” if you will, call me a post-modernist, or call me some new age yuppie type…but we’re in the 21st century and the rules have changed. Globally, as Robert Dickie recently tweeted: “We did not just go through a “recession” we went through a “reset.” This is important to understand. Many of the rules have changed.” It’s time to throw away the status-quo and begin leading from within. It will allow for a reflection so bright that it will glow amongst all of those close to you and those you’re about to meet along the way.
I’d like to thank Tom Schulte for the inspiration of the title and thought of this blog post. Thank you, Tom.
There may come a time in your life where you have to make some hard decisions. When you do, half of the people will think you’re crazy and the other half will think you’re right. You’ll need to make those decisions for yourself and your family when your time comes. I do believe the future is bright and my one hope is that I want anybody that reads to know that inside of you are the seeds of greatness. God blessed you with special gifts that only you have. Learn what those gifts are. I know that you can do anything in the world that you choose to do. You have to focus and always believe in yourself. Never beat yourself up for your past performance, just keep on striving to make your dreams come true. I know you are going to do something great in your future and that you can accomplish all you want and then some. Never give up on yourself. You know that it is better to go to bed tired knowing you give it your all than to go to bed lazy because you are striving for nothing. Keep on dreaming, it’s worth it. You are on your way to being the best. You will go beyond where you thought you could. I am proud of you for standing up against mediocrity and claiming yourself to be A DREAMER!! Yes, that is what you are and never ever forget it. Don’t let the fog take it away from you.
You’re the real deal, my friend.
May God bless you and always be there for you.
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